I’m not taking flight because I’m perfect. And this is not an attempt to go off and play the whole “I’m not perfect” game. None of us are.
God’s men, Jacob, David, Peter. They had this in common, they were not upright, they had slipped many a time. But they had purposed in their heart to serve Him.
This is all I have. My fierce resolution to go.
He knows me. He knows the thoughts I had two weeks ago and every morning. When dishonesty leaks from my lips and lusts reek something awful clouding every good and pure and noble and honorable thought I should have, he knows. He knows when I’m choosing sensual satisfaction over praying and fasting. He knows when my Bible has been far away from my eyes and hands. He knows when I’m reading His word and my heart is far from it and when He asks me to believe, I just can’t. He knows when I’m not burning with first love and the things I could do at first, I now throw in the towel at. He knows.
It’s not like He doesn’t know. I just want to be reminded of that. He is God and He sees. He does not miss a thing. Nothing is hidden from His sight. Wherever I go, He sees me. He knows every detail of my life, better than I do. Because He is God.
He knows what happened yesterday. He knows what happened in my heart to cause what happened yesterday. But I am not cowering in the dark because my mistakes are on display. No. I am clinging to Him.
Left alone but I am wrestling with Him. Come, come change me God. Come leave me limping. Change my name. Change my direction. Change my entire destiny. Come speak.
Till You do, I’m not letting You go.