These are the reasons why I do what I do. If you do not have a firm grasp of the reasons for which you act out the roles you play on this great stage of life, you will forget the script, lose your place in the cast and get yelled at by the director. Keep your head up.
- The mornings when I wake up and feel like the worst of sinners. There are several wires connected to this junction. There are the mornings when my mind is glued unbendingly to the party of last night’s conversation and furthering it through wilder imaginations than are necessary. Lust is lust- in action and in thought. There have been hours in the AM when my thoughts would not lift an arm out of the (<lost my frame of thought>). There are the mornings when prayer starts in my mind like a key placed in an ignition but never climbs up to my throat to leave my mouth. The key never gets turned and I drag myself out of bed, feeling so cold on the inside, my hot shower is insignificant. Finally there are mornings when I simply do not get out of bed, early enough or simply do not get out period. And all my sins from yesteryear become very present. I feel like a slug, lazy and unwanted. Incapable and too fallible. Bum is a strong word. But in those moments, I am nothing but a seeker of nothing. I am numb and mindless to the pressures of the world which deserve my all. I’ve been told joy comes in the morning but having a temperament which despises mornings, I see this once in a blue moon. Nevertheless, the moment I shudder and wince and groan and decide that I need help out of this state, He is there. Like a ladder to the only window in the fortress I am tied up in, He is a rescuer. The angels still ascend and descend from earth to heaven. I am blessed the instant I bless His name. The worship is a war ship. The praise is the victorious end of a battle. What I’m saying in simple words is, I’m grateful because He lifts my spirit. I should be shrouded in sin and regret and condemnation but He dresses me in robes of righteousness and declares me justified. For this I am thankful.
*It ends at 1. This is some old stuff I wrote and felt like posting. Sometimes I don’t get a whole cake. I have a piece or two in my mind and I let it out as is. As it comes.